Chocolate Crystals

Due to the fact that I was very shy as a child and also very quiet, I was victimized by bullies aka wild boys and mean girls. They’d exclude me in games, isolate me in activities, take away my things, tell bad things about me, etc. These things have an effect on my personality as I grew up. I became the least trusting person. I find it hard to give my trust to anyone suspecting that they might have a bad intention or their kindness might just be a facade.

I tend to be very picky with friends. I want to stay close to those people who are nice and kind. I mean of course who want to be with someone who is unkind? But what I’m trying to say is that as much as possible I just try to keep away from those who want to gossip. Yeah, I hate gossipers and makers of intrigues and also those who are plastic. But I also try to be civil to the people I don’t like to befriend. I give them a simple nod when I see them anywhere. Just a nod, no besos or hugs or chika.

Haven’t been here for such a long time Well, I have been busy sleeping, eating, daydreaming and just lazying around.

Friends may not be aware about this, but I’m such a huge fan of sports. Especially boxing. Marquez lost versus Mayweather HUHUHU! I am such a big fan of Marquez But it’s okay, at least Pacman (once again) brought honor to my country by beating up Cotto. YEHEY! YEHEY! YEHEY!

I just hope Mister Pacquiao won’t run for public service because that would be really stupid Who will vote for him? I will never vote for him. He knows nothing about politics. We all know he is a great warrior but I really don’t think he is knowledgeable enough to handle a position in the government. Being a congressman or mayor of governor requires knowledge. I mean of course, everybody is free to run. That is a constitutional right of every Filipino citizen. But certainly, there are other ways of helping the filipino people. Sigh! Just donate his freaking money to charities or better yet, establish his own charity like THE PACMAN OUTREACH PROGRAM.

Personally, I prefer a bed made of tropical woods or peeled logs because it creates a nice inviting atmosphere. If only I could afford it, I want a bedroom with a log cabin look, something that I only see in my grandmother’s house in Cebu and beach resorts in Batangas. By simply looking at the photo below, you will have an idea on how I want my cabin bed to look like. It looks exactly the same except that the color of the wood is darker, the pillows are bigger, and the blankets would be pure white. Some people may think that a rustic furniture looks plain and old-fashioned but for me they give a look of natural beauty. I even heard that these beds are strong and durable so they would surely last for many years.

When I was about to tell my neighbor that I can’t do it because “I’m too busy” with the household chores, I saw the boy smiling shyly to me. I had compassion for him, I’m not sure why. Maybe because I used to smile like that when I feel so small and I’m trying my best to hide it. So, to cut the story short, I tried to help. It’s a good thing the equations were simple, he’s in sixth grade, by the way.

It’s hard to remember what we discussed that afternoon. As I have said, I was never good in math but I really tried my best to share with him my stock knowledge about x and y. Hehe! After we tried to do his homework, I asked my brother to double check our solutions (bro’s fave subject is math) and … surprise! Out of 10 problems we got 7 correct answers! Not bad I’m really glad because I feel like I was able to help in my own little way….

When I was in college, there was one subject that I never learned to appreciate. Not only because Differential Calculus was one hell of a heavy-math subject, but I also couldn’t figure out how am I going to apply all those x’s and y’s in everyday life. Let me put it in concrete terms: suppose I needed to buy a piece of bread in the bakery, do I have to bring out a scientific calculator and start computing for the x? Silly! Of course I know my argument is sooo stupid!

The reason why I am sort of reminiscing about that nightmarish subject is that just yesterday, a neighbor came to our house and was asking me to help tutor her son on his math assigment. It brought back ugly memories of the past. It’s like a recurring dream, I see myself sweating buckets during departmental exams and the feeling of my cold palms while I patiently wait for the results. Eeeehh… I wanted to help but I wasn’t confident because I know I was never good in math! I worried that instead of helping the boy, it would turn out as a major disaster. That I wouldn’t be able to explain to him the basics of algebra and that everyone would laugh at me.

One of my deepest regrets in life is that I wasn’t able to keep all the letters and notes that I received from close friends, classmates and acquaintants. I love handwritten letters. For me they are special. In fact, I used to have a shoebox full of letters which I managed to carefully collect since grade 5 up to college. Valentine’s, christmas, lenten season, birthday, etc. But an evil relative stole my letters away Her purpose? I know why but it’s a dark family secret. Something I shouldn’t disclose in public. I don’t know what she’s going to do with all those “happy-valentine-merry-christmas-happy-birthday” notes but until now I still curse her for what she has done. Ok. Wait. It’s not exactly a family secret hehe. It’s just too personal to talk about that here.

On the brighter side, those people who gave me those letters will never be forgotten. They will always be kept inside my heart. I may not recall anymore the content of their letters, but I will never forget their thoughtfulness and kindness. I know it sounds mushy but it’s true hehe

April 5, 2009

Sterndal,

Heia! New name mo! Neway, thanks for this wonderful time. I miss doing this thing which we usually do way back in high school. Everytime you get to look at this, you’ll feel and remember I am still the same person hooking up with your life years from now. Thanks for being my real bestfriend! Take care! God bless! Have a blessed holy week!

muahugs!

Meri

Reading has its own rewards. Sleeping all day is another thing. I am a self-confessed sleeping addict. I’m obsessed with it because I can do so much when I dream - like flying, going to Paris, meeting the man of my dreams (and his beautiful wife? lol) and even the most impossible things can happen such as being reunited with my loved ones who already passed away. For me, sleeping is a wonderful blessing from the Lord. It’s my ticket to a wonderland of love and beauty, a way of escaping from all the troubles and worries of the real world. I’m not saying that I hate reality. All I’m saying is that when I sleep, it seems like I can temporarily forget about everything. I know it sounds absurd but if I would be given the chance, I’d go to Spain to taste their sangria and of course, to experience their siesta “heller! you can have siesta in Manila!” you say, but I want to do it in Barcelona! period! haha! Ambishosa! Kidding aside, I just want to have a whole day when I can just sleep and read. I’ve been uber busy these past few days and I want to take a rest.  You see, I work on a shifting schedule so it’s almost impossible to have a good sleeping habit. Two days to go and night shift’s going to start again. That would be for the whole month of December. Just the mere thought of it is enough to set me on a sad mood But hey! I still have Sundays

We basically agree on a lot of things but fights are inevitable. There was a time when me and “toot-toot” (secret!) ignored each other for a couple of days. I can hardly remember the root cause of our misunderstanding but it was just a petty thing. Heck! Can’t even remember how is was resolved! But one thing I really appreciate in our friendship is that despite our conflicting personalities, we simply fit

When we entered college, though, we seldom got the chance to see each other. We went to different universities and we took up different courses. We met new people and we hung out with a new group of friends. We have been exposed to a much bigger world but we remained special to one another. We managed to keep in touch through e-mails, friendster, and whenever one of us has the time to spare, we do home visits.

Given the 9 long years of being close friends, I can say that we all learned from everything that we went through, including that crime we did in our Physics class haha! Sure, people can call us bitchy for all they want, but if was all part of the learning process, whether good or bad. I honestly don’t see the need to have anything edited or deleted. No regrets!

PS. If God would grant this, I would love to read again this post when I turn 80 yrs old I want to relive again the memories and the lessons that go with it.

I now understand that there is some truth in that old Sharon Cuneta song High School Life — the lyrics are so true it brings me back to my younger days:

high school life, oh my high school life every memory kay ganda. bakit kung graduation na’y luluha kang talaga.

High school life is the best. I met my most treasured friends during secondary studies and we had a lot of unforgettable experiences together. Me, Mary, Belinda and Rhea have been really good pals since senior year and throughout everything, good times and bad, different universities and even now that some of us have already gotten hitched, our friendship is just unstoppable! We could laugh like crazy on the shallowest things and we had the best times bumming around, eating, malling and just talking nonsense.

School was our priority. Well…sort of. One time our Physics teacher caught us cutting classes and she was fuming mad, she required us to submit a written explanation from our parents! Or else, she’d report us to the principal’s office and, chances are, we wouldn’t graduate. Bummer! We’re supposed to graduate in two months time and we’re already looking forward to college. Fortunately, we have a very special talent in problem solving. heh-heh! We composed the letters ourselves and we forged our parents’ signatures. It was a desperate move and, by far, the naughtiest thing we’ve ever done.

But hey! I do look back at my old self and say “what the hell was I doing?!”

On a Sunday afternoon, while everybody else is attending the mass or going to a Bible study, you’ll find me sitting in front of the idiot box watching cartoons or telenovela. I’m not a regular church goer and I really feel bad about it I’m guilty! My mother is really against this but I always have a ready argument as to why I can’t attend the mass: I have to work, I feel sick, I’m busy, etc. Actually, I have over a hundred reasons and not one of them is valid. I’m just lazy!

OUCH! I can just imagine people raising their eyebrows and saying “you are really bad!”

I don’t know…but I feel that I would only go to the church on a regular basis once I already have my own family…my own adorable children and a loving husband. I have a friend, she said the moment she gave birth to her baby, she suddenly wants to know more about Him, she wants to read the Bible, go to church more often, things like that. I feel that Iam like her. My bestfriend told me that I should start now! Of course I know that Listening to His Word is a duty and also a blessing. It’s something that I’ve learned from the church (I’m a Catholic), I’ve heard from the elders, I’ve read from the Bible, I’ve seen on TV, but I just can’t understand why it’s so hard for me to put it into practice

But wait! I’m not naman the super all-out bad girl! I’m currently working on it. Believe it or not, I’m struggling to overcome this laziness. I must admit that my enemy is myself! At my age, I already learned a lot of things in life, most of which are learned the hard way, but I guess, I still have a lot of growing up to do…